20K and a Year Away

Read along as this adventure of a lifetime unfolds.

I really want the title to feel like the beginning of an amazing Lord of the Rings adventure because that is how it feels. I am not even in the adventure part of this new thing, yet, but I feel like I am in uncharted territory. 

Let’s back up a bit so I can bring you up to speed. My name is Elizabeth and I have had an interesting life so far. I just turned 50 this year, and, yes, that is still a bit of a shock. I am employed as I write this, but plan to be unemployed (from a traditional job, anyway) very soon. I am the director of a county library system serving 412,000 residents right now, but have worked in many different fields. I have three kids, two daughters, 21 and 20, and a son, 12. The oldest and youngest have birthdays next month. I was married for 30 years. And, I love to explore.

I grew up moving around the world with a dad in the Army. We jumped from state to state and to a few countries, moving at least every 2.5 years for the first 17 years of my life. I am certain that is what has led me to this. I have travel in my blood and there is just no removing it. I tried a couple of times, but it just isn’t sticking. The last place we were when I was a kid was Panama when I was 15 and 16. When I returned to the US, I did what many kids do. I went to college. Then, a couple years later I got married really young and I started the life I was supposed to start. Or at least that’s what I thought. Hindsight says otherwise, but then again, it always does.

I spent 8 years in Arizona, attending Arizona State for both undergraduate and graduate school. I embarked on the career I thought I wanted. I was teaching Spanish and English as a Second Language to adults in college. It was great and I liked the work, but I kept feeling like something was missing. And, that marriage I mentioned, it was hard and things were not quite right.

After cooking at 115 degrees Fahrenheit every summer for 8 years, we decided we had had enough of AZ. My husband had an opportunity with his job to transfer to Indiana, and off we went! Wow, that decision could have used a little more thought, but I will get there eventually. Hindsight, again, jeez.

Eight years in one spot was the record for me. I had never lived in one place that long, ever. I was more than ready to move on. We packed a U-Haul truck and I drove it across the country with my dog in the front seat to find a place to live. 

While in Indiana, we kept checking off the boxes of the life we thought we were supposed to be living. We bought a house, got some cars, bought all the stuff, started a family, and bought a bigger house. We kept ticking boxes but were not really having a good time. And that marriage, well… 

My career took a big turn here, too. I was only able to teach a couple classes at the college and had to go find other work. I worked as an office and marketing person for a real estate company, an editor for a Spanish language newspaper, and, the last position while there, as the director of a small nonprofit that helped Spanish-speakers with life in the United States and in Indiana specifically. I loved that job. It was an incredible opportunity to use my skills in language and build my business and management experience. It was great. I really felt like the work I was doing mattered and helped make a difference in my community. It was also an opportunity to learn about other jobs that I was good at. I started honing my leadership skills and taking on more challenges – personal and professional.

After seven years in Indiana, it was time to go. We weren’t really cut out for the midwest. We have different ways of seeing the world and felt we should find our way back to the Pacific Northwest – our family home. We gave notice, put our house on the market, and the girls and I started the journey back across the nation in our Ford Explorer to be there in time for my sister’s wedding. My husband stayed behind to finish work stuff while the girls and I headed to my mom’s house to try to find a new job and keep ticking off those boxes. 

We stayed with my mom for a couple months until I found another job. My husband and I made a deal that the first job one of us got would determine where we would go. I found a job first. This time it was in a public library. My husband joined us and we moved to our new town. Here is where my professional life took a huge turn and my leadership skills came to the forefront. 

I loved the library. I loved what people could do and learn and be at the library. I was (and am) the most dedicated library supporter in the world. I liked it so much that I went back to graduate school, because who doesn’t love homework, right?, and got one more, yes, that does make three, Master’s Degree. This one was in library science. In the library world, if you want to do the cool stuff, you have to have one. I really wanted to do the cool stuff! 

About two and a half years into the new gig, I found out I was pregnant. Totally a surprise. I thought I had the flu or something and was absolutely shocked when the doctor called with the news. I was 37 when he was born. Not at all what I thought I would be doing at that age. It was also strange because that marriage I keep mentioning did not improve and this wasn’t necessarily the direction it was heading.

So, now I have a baby, and am going back to graduate school, and am working full-time. Did I mention I am a little determined? Or is that more glutton for punishment. Might be the latter.

I learned and grew and moved up the ranks of my third career. I am pretty ambitious and saw the ultimate goal of this new career as being the director of a library system. I worked toward that goal and built amazing programs and services that made my community better and stronger. I reached a point in my life, personally and professionally, where things had to change.

In 2019, I made some changes. I finally told my husband of 29 years I wanted a divorce and started looking for a new job as a library system director. In 2020, the pandemic hit. We finalized the divorce in June (we passed the 30th anniversary during lockdown) and I moved with two of the kids (one is still in college in Washington) 3500 miles away to take a new job as the director of a County library system. It looked like everything was moving in a positive direction.

The kids and I made the most of what we had. We went to the beach every weekend and even ventured down to Key West to see what that was all about. We tried to be open to everything, but it just wasn’t quite right. The kids were in lockdown most of the time doing virtual school and working online. The politics of the area were not ours and we could not get behind them. The attitude of the people was very aggressive about pandemic restrictions. It was just the wrong place for us. So, here we are again, making big changes and getting ready to leave all this behind.

Turns out, the life you are supposed to be living eventually catches up to you.